2023 - Gratitude in Public
A daily record of noticing the beauty of life in 2023
12/31 The bright moon beaming. The Caribbean stars singing. A live band feeding, energetic dancing, & horns bleating...our eyes meeting. Our hearts beating. Our chests heaving. Perspiration beading. The champagne finale w/fireworks leading....into a new year we’re desperately needing.
1/1 a lazy day spent in bed with you , the only person with whom I'd want to waste the day in this way.
1/2 Sitting on our balcony, watching the cloud formations. A parade of bunnies, coats of arms, bears, Einstein, fantastical landscapes & many other art forms delighted our eyes....The setting sun spread out its golden rays, a cosmic screen for this ever changing show, which We and we alone were the only two beings in the universe to witness.
1/3. We found tacos and beer for lunch and that always makes for a good day.
1/4. Despite feeling badly, we both rallied and had a nice, if short evening at Aqualina, making the most of our last day of holiday.
1/5. Despite a day of multiple minor mishaps, which would have been almost comical if we weren’t so exhausted, we arrive home safely and Bella greeted us with enthusiasm. The three of us, together again.
1/6 the day was spent, drained, in rest and in nursing ourselves. A dreadful day, but in reality, not, because I spent it with you.
1/7 As we ate lunch, Bella walked behind me, stretched her paws up my back, and said “hey daddy”
1/8 After days inside, feeling knackered, I walked out into the cool sunlit day. a cloudless sky presided over my short, but uplifting walk around the house.
1/9 We don’t always appreciate our work, but, after a couple of weeks off, and illness, I’m grateful for the work to return to, and for the customers who trust their precious art’s online display to our software.
1/10 As the dappled sunlight filtered through the hundreds of oak trees on our property, I looked around and thought, wow, this is beautiful.
1/11 Watching you luxuriate in brushing Bella, and watching her luxuriate in being brushed.
1/12 I stepped out into the January evening, a cool, but not cold, breeze caressed my face and the absolute quiet of the suburban setting surprised and delighted my senses.
1/13 Sitting on the floor, listening to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, drinking a glass of wine, while Bella sits on your lap slowing opening and closing her eyes and looking up at the speakers as she also enjoys the jazz.
1/14 Mother Nature gifted us with a sunny, cool day that demanded an afternoon walk, so we took one.
1/15 Despite being unmotivated and tired, we both worked out, and felt much better afterwards.
1/16 My guitar to called me from the closet. It's been too long since we played, she said. So we danced, sonically, for over an hour. A rare treat, but one we both vowed to make less rare.
1/17 the winter sun, low in the sky, cast its hollow light upon the earth, creating long shadows on the pavement, dark fingers caressing this world with their love.
1/18 I stood in the shower, noticing and appreciating the steaming streams of water cascading over me, and watching them disappear, down the drain in a metaphor for the events of the day, which also cascade over us in an unrelenting stream and the quickly disappear, never again to be appreciated unless we do the one thing an artist must do: notice.
1/19 I sat at my keyboard and typed, and in a virtual state of no-mind, Creation poured out through my fingers and onto the screen, and it revealed such simple, yet profound truths that I did not know, yet, somehow, I knew.
1/20 One of the sublime experiences of this life is a bottle of Seasmoke Southing, music playing, and just hanging out with you.
1/21 The universe amuses itself by playing. For, that is exactly what is happening when I am awakened from a nap by my cat, Bella, slapping & grabbing my arm, pulling it to herself and playfully nipping at it. And when I wake up and look at her, she clearly said, “let’s play.”
1/22 There are few things in life as luxurious and fulfilling as a lazy Sunday spent reading a great book, and today's indulgence was Moby Dick, which, amazingly I had never read.
1/23 the cool breeze washed over me, raising goosebumps, the clickity clack of leaves tumbling across the sidewalk teased my ears, in the distance neighbors talked and children laughed, behind it all, a dog barked and the infinite song of creation continued.
1/24 The power went out in early morning so instead of stressing about it, we decided to relax in bed & enjoy each other's company, reading & talking. I continued reading my book and Bella, our cat, snuggled against our legs. It turns out that hour was the best hour of the day.
1/30 Sometimes on a cold, drizzly, generally miserable day, it's a good day to buckle down into the joys of work, and so, that is what I did today.
1/31 I had an interesting and inspiring thought today, and it was the idea that Art is how humans send inspiration and energy to one another across space and time.
2/1 looked to the corners of our backyard, the freezing temperature and rain had coated the barren branches of the xylosoma, creating a frozen fractal sculpture, in a moment of creation’s natural art.
2/2 an epiphany suddenly entered my mind, and suddenly an idea that I’ve been writing around for month became crystal clear and all of the puzzle pieces locked into place. Such moments are glorious gifts from the sublime.
2/3 7pm. Friday evening. 1st glass of wine. Music playing. the beginning of an evening together. sublime.
2/4 The sun, that lord of the day, has made his glorious return. He reached out his had to smite away the dreariness in the sky and in our hearts and we joyfully walked together underneath his protective gaze.
2/5 it’s nigh impossible to beat John Coltrane, a nice red, and hanging out with Loved ones
2/6 a nearly full, yet waning, and fully illuminated moon rose over the neighborhood, casting her soft amber light over dark suburban streets, bringing cheer and the promise of adventure.
2/7 A spark of an idea arrived from the formless void inside me, from God, and I started typing, and before my very eyes inspiration became creation, and through me, God inspired, breathed life, into a work of art on the page in front of me, and those who saw it felt that energy.
2/9 We went to a nice dinner to celebrate an achievement, enjoyed wine, company and cuisine, and as we left the restaurant, our eyes were enthralled momentarily by a beautiful sunset.
2/10 late afternoon amber sunshine poured through the window like honey and coated our cat, Bella, in it’s viscous, time slowing power. she succumbed and absorbed its power and curled up to recharge.
2/11 Today is a delicate wine glass, summoned forth from the depths of a chilled cellar by the whims of the Tao, brimming with a translucent Sauvignon Blanc, a pale, almost amber hue of sunlight droplets. And morning dew gathering at its rim, inviting us with its chill to…
2/12 Listening to "Black Water" by the Doobie Brothers, talking and laughing, while Bella sits on your lap slowly opening and closing her eyes, dozing off as she watches birds on her ipad.
2/13 Taking care of the neighbor's cat, Morris, and he greeted me as an old friend, which of course, we are.
2/14 We held each other, we talked, we had one of our favorite dinners, we drank wine, we played with our cat. What more does man need?
2/15 I sit at my desk looking out the window, the sunshine glinting off the budding leaves on the xylosoma, shining brightly as glimmering beacons of beauty in the breeze. We thought the freeze had killed them, but, alas, life refreshes itself as spring approaches.
2/16 I broke for lunch, and my cat followed me from room to room, then determined what I was doing and waited for me in my chair at the table, demanding to be picked up. I didn't know what she wanted, but apparently, what she wanted was simply to be with me.
2/17 we sat together listening to the greatness of Motown music…
2/18 I sat, meditating, and after a while I kind of floated out of myself, feeling lighter, and noticed the small distractions of the day that normally annoy me, no longer did so.
3/22 Bella fixed me with her illuminated gold eyes as if light was shooting out of them, spotlighting me in her consciousness, holding me entranced with her silent pleas
3/23 Sometimes, just getting through the day without losing it, and having a few quiet moments to yourself to decompress is enough
3/24 After a day at the computer, I ventured out into early evening light and a squirrel jumped off our oak tree onto our fence, backlot in amber sunlight, scampering along like waves on the ocean sparkling with diamonds on the water.
3/26 our brown drapes in the corner, today, arranged themselves into a perfect impersonation of the sorting hat.
3/30 The wind whispered through the trees, with their newly minted green leaves shimmering, adding a soft whisper that proclaims that spring is finally here.
4/1 The sun is a luminescent sprinkler, spraying her drops of life over the earth, splattering them through the trees, across my lawn and into my retinues, refreshing the earth in preparation for another beautiful day. The perfect day to visit extended family one hasn't seen in months.
4/2 They say nothing good happens after midnight, but they don't know what they're talking about. Sometimes, the best things happen after midnight. After a long evening of driving home, my beautiful wife and I cranked up old school metal, opened a bottle of wine, and sat and talked till 3am to the background of Judas Priest, Dio, Megadeath, Metallica and all the old favorites. And we saw that it was good. I knew the night was destined when the first song Pandora selected was, "Living After Midnight" at 12:01.
4/3 a draining day, stressful and mentally exhausting followed by an intense workout. I collapsed into my chair at the dinner table, zoned out, mentally fatigued and my wife looked up and said, “hey, I love you” and everything brightened up again.
4/4 Sometimes inspiration strikes, and everything just flows perfectly
4/5 Some days you simply enter a flow state right away and magically create something that didn't exist when the day began, when you finally emerge, it is done, and you are exhausted but satisfied.
4/6 Sometimes, you just realize how great the people you work with are, and that makes the day worthwhile.
4/7 Terribly agitated and annoyed by most everything today, that's a sign that the problem is me, or, more accurately, my ego. So, I sat and meditated until the light washed things away and the evening is looking brighter.
4/8 After a long week, we settle into Saturday evening - jazz playing throughout the house, dinner cooking in the kitchen, and that sense of anticipation and possibility that comes with the beginning of a weekend.
4/9 Easter Sunday, a holiday, a day that is set apart, and we set it apart by treating it as a sort of Sabbath - time to be with family, to simply enjoy, and to not think about the demands of the world for a day.
4/10 - Helios has made its triumphant return
4/11 A pair of squirrels scampered across our fence, up our mountain laurel and across the roof of our garage, there they paused in their quest to turn and face the window where our cat, Bella, sat engrossed with their every move. She spotlighted them with the light of her bright golden eyes. A staring contest ensued.
4/11 A pair of squirrels scampered across our fence, up our mountain laurel and across the roof of our garage, there they paused in their quest to turn and face the window where our cat, Bella, sat engrossed with their every move. She spotlighted them with the light of her bright golden eyes. A staring contest ensued.
4/13 My wife had lunch with an old friend at a whimsical little restaurant with a bakery, and when she returned home, she bore the gift of freshly baked cookies - one of the finest gifts one human can give another. I cannot overstate the importance of cookies to the world.
4/14 After enduring the vicissitudes of a difficult day, I found myself feeling dejected and depressed. But out of the blue, an old friend called and then decided to come over for a visit and, just like that, light entered the world again.
4/15 - an opportunity for an afternoon nap presented itself, and, being no fool, I took it eagerly.
4/16 - Nature gifted us today with a flawless, sunny, cool spring day. As my wife and I walked through the neighborhood, I soaked in what can only be described as magic...dancing energy fields known as leaves undulated in the wind, birds swooped and sang merrily, photons rained through branches creating patterns of chaos and order on the path in front of us, and all the while we talked.
4/17 - The conductor of spring's evening serenade has made his triumphant return. Stepping into the night, I’m greeted by a choir of insects, the percussive punctuation of neighborhood dogs, the distant chatter of neighbors, and a gentle swirling breeze which adds color and movement to the living sonata. Bravo!
4/18 - The Muse visited today and creativity poured out, a volcanic lava of words that rushed forth from my soulfire and burned its way onto the page.
4/19 - Letting go. I've been simply letting go today. Someone said something that annoyed me. I Let it go. I watched anger rise within me, I felt it deeply and then let it go. I saw a reaction to "prove someone right" and I saw my ego get excited and then, I let it go. I feel lighter and possibilities are again endless.
4/20 - The rain came suddenly, heavily, falling in ponderous, percussive drops that fell as liquid bombs onto the stone patio, exploding into fluid, concentric shockwaves that mesmerized and delighted our eyes.
4/21 - An unexpected email arrived touting a grand opening party at a new boutique around the corner, right next to a wine bar and one of our favorite restaurants, so we had an impromptu dinner outing with our neighbors that turned into one of those spontaneous evenings of laughter, wine, music, and epicureanism.
4/22 - Saturday dawned, frabjous and bright with nature changing us to join her in the outdoors. We did! We were rewarded with a deluge of photonic light from Sol, a close encounter with a butterfly, made friends with a jaunty orange cat (who escorted us across his property) and priceless time together.
4/23 - I sat and meditated, and, after about 20 minutes, I saw nubilous forms of colored particles swirled around me. I brought my hand up to block more light, thinking my eyes were still slightly open and, to my shock and delight, with my eyes still closed, I could see my hand, my arm, my body, and ultimately the whole room, but all made of swirling clouds of colored energy. My arm was made up of mostly purple and red energetic particles, and as I brought it close to my still closed eyes, I saw it was actually a web of fractal patterns, blood vessels, nerves, energy conduits, or my imagination? I know not, but it was beautiful. Then I felt total peace and joy and this joyful state persisted, even after I stopped meditating, for the rest of the day. I don't know what to make of this experience, but I look forward to it happening again.
4/24 - Still in a positive, joyful mood from my meditative experience over the weekend, I took some time to walk the neighborhood together with my wife, to talk and to contemplate, to listen to the birds, and generally, to just move and live for a while, instead of sit and work. Of course, once back at my desk, the walk had spurred a renewed surge of creativity and energy.
4/25 - A rare work update in my daily good things list - An alert pinged and, by the time I could get to my laptop and log in, I discovered our two engineers, Ric and Adro, were already on the case and solving the issue. Blessed to have this engineering team at BoldBrush.
4/26 - Creativity flourished today in the form of coding rather than prose, but flowing with inspiration allowed me to finish a project more quickly than forcing it when the inspiration wasn’t there. I finished the day exhausted, for I’m getting a bit to old to code all day, but satisfied with the work, which is about the only satisfaction a true artist can ever have.
4/27 - During a particularly hectic day, I stepped outside for a moment of respite, the afternoon sun graced the edge of our nandina plant with it's brilliant light beams hitting just the top edge of new growth, creating the illusion of a magical fire spell, frozen in time, with flames of green, orange, salmon and yellow spouting out towards the walkway.
4/28 Friday evening, a glass of sauvignon blanc, Nora Jones playing throughout the house, the windows open, our cat enthralled by arboreal creatures flitting through the treetops outside, the sun begins setting, a quick hailstorm and then rain moves through, clears out, leaving a cool clear evening as the perfect backdrop to an amber dusk filtering through the trees.
4/29 - Hanging out with glasses of wine, our cat between us, watching the Fiesta Flambeau parade showcasing the weird, fun, down-home culture of our city.
4/30 - Sunday evening, after dinner, sitting at the table, armed with glasses of the lightest sauvignon blanc, debating the meaning of the lyrics to “If you could read my mind” by Gordon Lightfoot
5/1 - I’m a merry mugwump. False tribes and identities are irrelevant. All that matters is Love and Truth. But despite looking to the left and to the right, to the east and to the west, I see very little love or truth offered from any tribe. So I am grateful to remain a mugwump.
5/2 - I overheard my wife talking with a friend and once again marveled at her joie de vivre, her humor, her intelligence and her cleverness.
5/3 - Via the modern miracles of the Internet, Zoom, & Twitter, we had an illuminating and fascinating discussion with Kevin Kelly about his new book. Prior to the Information age, he represents somebody that we would have never reached &, in a weird reversed way, we represent somebody he would have never reached. Information age indeed!
5/4 - Mom's birthday. I spoke with her today and have to say, my mom is the most bad ass mom in existence. Strong, logical, just gets things done to take care of the family, & there's a lot needed in our family right now. Always remains positive. A huge blessing to us all. When I call on her birthdays, no lame "Happy Birthdays", it's always "May the Fourth be with you." because she's also a huge Star Wars fan.
5/5 - I love that we both love life so much that we saw a baby roly-poly in our living room and we scrambled to save it from the cat by catching it and placing it gently outside where, I like to image when it unrolls, it will realize that the world is so much larger than it ever realized. We too roll up our souls tightly, but if we unroll them to the wonder of the world, we can open up to limitless creativity and possibility.
5/6 - An afternoon boomer passed through quickly, dropping its water onto the city, but surprisingly and rapidly yielded sovereignty of the skies back to the sun. The day transmogrified a plein air painting, full of atmosphere, color and distance as the air greedily clung to the humidity which enhanced the vistas in every direction and, as I walked under a canopy of bright green blooming trees, the breeze cooled me, and the happy crepe myrtles showered me with their colorful petals.
5/7 - The mood for a surprise Sunday night movie night overtook us, so we opened a single bottle of wine (it was a 'school night' after all), and queued up a double feature of "Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris" and "Delicieux", (both of which, coincidentally both, explored themes of the common person rising up to challenge the elite/nobility and the current status quo). It's always inspiring to end the weekend on a high note by spending time with your family!
5/8 - This was a day where metaphorical demons decided they were out to bring me down, but, somehow, from the time I awoke, to the time I went to sleep, I managed to keep just one step ahead of them, dodging claws, avoiding bites, repelling mental attacks of negativity, staying right inside the light until they finally gave up. And on some days, that is enough to call it a good day.
5/9 - Some days are filled with endless difficulties and on such a day, as I experienced today, it's easy to fall into despair, but then, just when I thought I'd find little to be grateful for, I recalled, that the reality I'm experiencing is a divine gift, and The Sublime, when I accept reality, knows peace and joy, and so, briefly, I stepped out of my petty, small self, and into my Sovereign State and despair melted away like a block of ice on a sunny summer day.
5/10 - There are days that you swear someone slipped you a dose of Felix Felicis, you wake up energized, the sun comes out, you solve a work problem that’s been vexing you for weeks, all with time for a walk through the neighborhood with your wife where you dream of future plans. Sublime.
5/11 - I thought the day was lost, but then a bold squirrel scampered up to the window where our cat, Bella, sat watching the world. The squirrel stopped. Stared at Bella. Casually pulled out a nut and and ate it. And then let it go like a mic drop and sauntered off as if to say, "not a thing you can do to me."
5/12 - I walked down the block to check the mail and walked back into a transformed house, the lights were down, smooth jazz was playing, two cold white wines were on the coffee table, the blinds were open to afford a view of the setting sun, and my excitement for Friday evening with my wife redoubled.
5/13 - A good book. A rainy day. Need I say more? Nay.
5/14 - After making too much merry with wine and music deep into the wee hours of Sunday morning, I awoke feeling drained and unenergetic. My kind and loving wife, who also had to be tired, took care of my usual chores around the house and took care of me, and I am thankful, grateful and in love.
5/15 - The sky darkened rapidly, the wind picked up, a shower moved through unexpectedly. I broke for lunch and by the time I was finished, I walked out into a bright, clean, cool, colorful afternoon, full of life and possibility.
5/16 - In the past few days, I've carefully captured at least six spiders and taken them outside and released them back into the wild. They must be talking. The newest ones wave their legs at me, garnering my attention and all but begging me to save them from the deadly feline that prowls these interior halls. I think they're beginning to trust me and consider me a fine friend.
5/17 - The flow state took hold of me, and a section of my book that I've been procrastinating wrote itself through me.
5/18 - You can call it coincidence. You can call it synchronicity. You can call it answered prayers. It doesn’t matter at all what you call it. You don’t even have to believe in it. It only matters that you remain open to new possibilities and directions when they appear.
5/19 - Making eggrolls on a bed of spinach, drizzled artfully with sriracha sauce, at 1am, while listening to Fleetwood Mac and dancing around the kitchen is a baller move.
5/20 - Friends whom we hadn’t seen in years, invited us on a epicurean journey through Latin America at a local hotspot. The wine flowed. The laughter followed. New delights were discovered. Common ground was found. Ideas were exchanged. And an easy camaraderie and companionship was felt by all. If only the world could sit down and share a great meal, perhaps a great many tragedies could be avoided.
5/21 - A few moments of silly dancing with you in the dining room in the middle of the night to cheesy 80's pop music, and my faith in light and love was restored.
5/22 - The bulb in our landscape light burned out, and as I replaced it, I reflected upon how we must maintain, and improve the things in our lives. We push back the entropy. The filament flames out, and we upgrade it with a fresh, new bulb that restores the light, brighter than ever. And we can do the same with our souls. When part of my soul burns out, I upgrade it, replace it, I re-create it and the inner light shines forth again...brighter than ever.
5/23 - I lifted my eyes to the west, to the wall of trees that couldn’t quite hide the brilliant luminosity of the flaming chariot finishing its daily run. A chorus of crickets serenaded its completion of another run and I thought of the strange fact that no other soul in all of eternity would witness exactly what I just had.
5/24 - After a months long hiatus, I went for a morning run. My body felt out of shape, but my soul, oh my soul soared! An overnight shower had washed the world clean and the world delighted me with a sunlit, luminescent cacophony of colors, with soliloquies in the shadows, with symphonies sung by songbirds, and with a bracing breeze.
5/25 - The morning sun peeked its bright eyes up over the horizon and cast their illuminating glow across my lawn, magically transforming the dew drops into sparkling, scattered diamonds. Precious indeed! Light & water formed living diamonds more precious than a stone upon your finger.
5/26 - At the end of the night in dawn’s black and white light, I'm holding you tight and my heart's taking flight.
5/27 - As I walked, the descendants of dinosaurs sat in the trees calling back and forth to one another and heckling me and saying, isn't it better to be like us? To enjoy nature? To simply revel in the sunshine, and sleep in the shade rather than rule the world?
5/28 - My wife and I went for a run, and, as we picked up the pace and headed down the long, straight stretch home, a squirrel saw us coming, and then decided to run alongside us on top of the neighborhood fence for a while, and it was, of course, understood that we were racing.
5/29 - After lunch, my wife looked up and said, "you look tired. Why don't you take a nap?" God bless her. I grabbed a book, laid down, and started to read, but quickly entered a blissful, hypnagogic state, the cat joined me and we entered neverland together.
5/30 - The outgoing extravert, my wife, the foil to my introvert, struck up a conversation with the guy who runs the produce department at our grocery store, and he shared his grandmother's tomatillo salsa recipe with her. Knowing that grandmother approved recipes are usually the pinnacle of recipes, she graciously and kindly made us some. And we sat and blissfully burned our mouths with spicy tomatillo salsa.
5/31 - I went back to a first draft I had written, expecting it to be too much work to finish by my deadline, but, to my delight, found that it just needed slight editing, and this may be the giddiness talking, but I think it may be the best fiction I've written to date.
6/1 - A inspired thought I had today - each day is unique. Each moment is, in some beautiful subtle way, different from every other. The truth is, contrary to the saying, that each new day, there is everything new under the sun. As creatives, our job is to notice it.
6/2 - The barn swallows have returned to the eves of our porch, to nest and have children. Any attempt to prevent them from nesting there, and I have tried, has failed, so this year, I am simply embracing life and enjoying hearing the chirps and tweets of the young birds that greet me as I come and go.
6/3 - Due to the unusually high rainfall this year, spring wildflowers are still blooming in the neighborhood, even this late in the season, exploding in colors of the rainbow - lavender lemon mint, fiery Mexican hat, Indian blanket, pink evening primrose, and, of course, bluebonnets.
6/4 - Just when I thought I'd not find a gratitude entry for today, I remembered, there is hope and hope is good. Hope is something to be grateful for.
7/7 - After feeling a bit down about a situation with my business for a few weeks, a creative path forward unveiled itself, and a familiar feeling of excitement and anticipation has started to return.
7/8 - T'Challa, my frabjous feline friend, and I, watched the world outside windowsill and savored the shining sun and the dawning day. We watched the squirrels scamper by, the fowl fly, and the neighbor's puppy play.
7/9 - We set up a palette in the workout room, and watched three movies while T’challa ran, and, played, and jumped and snuggled, after weeks of isolation and it was like we gave water to a parched man lost in a desert, for all of us.
7/10 - After feeling a bit down about a situation with my business for a few weeks, a creative path forward unveiled itself, and a familiar feeling of excitement and anticipation has started to return.
7/11 - I asked my wife to pick up six bottles of wine at the store, and she came home with a case. "I don't like to get too low" she said. Me neither. Yet another reason why it's love.
7/12 - As T'challa, our new kitten, and I looked out the window, we noticed Tom, a big white cat, stalking in his front yard, then we noticed that his owner was watering his lawn, and Tom was following him around with love in his eyes.
7/13 - The eastern sky brightens and my overall mood lightens.
7/14 - Watching T’Challa and Bella run around the house playing, together, for the first time, a raucous game of peek-a-boo, swatting paws, and chasing each other as Journey’s Faithfully plays. It’s like the falling in love montage scene in a movie.
7/15 - listening to Shooting Star by Bad Company, watching the sun set, and appreciating the beauty of nature outside our window, while you sing along with the music, and I think of “shooting stars” I’ve lost and give thanks for the stars I still have.
7/16 - A Sunday night movie, Enders Game, with our two cats watching with us.
7/17 - An ordinary Monday evening, after dinner, watching the sky darken to a dusty rose light, filtered through oak branches, while the cats nap in front of the window, and I enjoy my hypnagogic state….extraordinary.
7/18 - The topic for my next short story has been vexing me for weeks, when today, experiencing a Superstitious Synchronicity while washing dishes, the idea fell in my metaphorical lap.
7/19 - I cranked up the music and was jamming, singing along, when, suddenly, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for going 40 in a 30 and, a miracle occurred....he politely gave me a warning, let me know it was common for people to think this area was 40mph, thanked me for my time, and let me go about my business.
7/20 - That majestic evening moment, at dusk at the height of summer, when the air is still, the sky is darkened, except for fading brilliance in the west, the night sounds are just starting, the blistering heat is cooling, perhaps a lone prop plan is heard far in the distance, but other than that one experiences absolute silence, and the evening is full of possibility.
7/21 - Some neighbors invited us to meet for an evening get together at our neighborhood pool, and as we all floated, enjoying our libations, bats swooped low over us, our gracious attendants, clearing the area of mosquitos for our comfort.
7/22 Beautiful bright gold eyes, surrounded by jet black fur, almost twin, penetrating beams of gold light, met mine in a silent plea. Bella wanted a cat treat.
7/23 - If I don’t get to write, I get irritable and cranky, like I’m wasting my life. So these periods are extremely frustrating. Writing acts as a sort of release valve that resets my spirit into a good place. Fortunately, today, I got to write.
7/24 - The warm, late afternoon sunlight filtered through the blinds, creating shimmering, parallel beams of light across the tile floor. These fascinating patterns caught the eye of the three of us, myself, my cat, and my kitten, and we sat together enjoying nature's mysteries for a while.
7/25 - My thoughtful and loving wife, on this hot day, went to the store, picked out a watermelon, and sliced it up so that we've got cool, juicy watermelon at our fingertips whenever we are in the mood. Perfect dog days of summer refreshment.
7/26 - I stopped and took a walk around the block in the bright afternoon sunshine. The fresh air cleared my head, and I noticed our Esperanza plant, green and bright yellow, in defiance of the blistering south Texas heat, and, of course, I thought of her and smiled.
7/27 - While straightening covers on our bed, suddenly, I felt that I was being watched. I turned around and two pairs of bright gold feline eyes, beacons of warm light surrounded by jet black fur, one pair kitten-sized, the pair other soulfully mature, intently watched every move, every fold, every tug. And suddenly, I understood, it was now playtime in our household.
7/28 - While walking to the neighborhood pool, the soothing sound of cicadas lulled me into that hypnagogic summer state of mind, and the warmth soon made me feel I was enveloped in healing honey, as my movements slowed and relaxed.
7/29 - Sharing a meal is a sacred act of living and we went out with friends whom we haven't seen in months to do just that. The spicy Szechuan food was good, but the service was, well, slow and bizarre in a Seinfeldian kind of way that made the whole experience even better, for their was nothing to be done except laugh about it, and, as they say, laughter is the best medicine.
7/30 - We settled in for an evening with Bella and T'Challa who played as cats do, while we read, played games and listened to music. These are the moments that aren't much to write about, but, are in reality, the ones that make life worth living.
7/31 - As I sat down to dinner, unexpectedly, and lovingly, my wife walked over and gave me two kisses on the cheek. Such a small thing, and such a big thing. Volumes spoken without words.
8/1 - Sometimes, you have to just force start that vexing project that seemed, in your mind, to be too difficult. You just didn’t know where to begin. And, if you’re fortunate, and the daemon muse graces you, it’ll be like the project I finally started today, such that, nearly as soon as I started it, most of the pieces magically fell into place.
8/2 - The strength and determination of my wife never ceases to impress and astonish me. Sure, sometimes, when directed in a direction I don't want, it pisses me off, but if we're being honest, that speaks to my failings and, even then, it still impresses and astonishes me.
8/3 - One of our sprinkler heads had come out of its socket, and we noticed there was a frog who had moved in, so we carefully coaxed him out, and relocated him to a spacious new home in the shade next to a better sprinkler head that would be sure to delight him with fresh water. He blinked twice to thank us and we thanked him for making our yard his home.
8/4 - After meditating today, the daemon muse flitted down, briefly, and presented me with her highest gift: an idea.
8/5 - As I trim my beard, our cat loves to slyly slink into position near me, where after rinsing my face, she comes to drink from the magical watering hole, which is dry most of the time, but comes alive in the early morning. It is known in local legend only as "Beardwater."
8/6 - Inspiration struck and I entered the flow as insights that surprised me poured from my pen for an hour and a half that passed in the blink of an eye.
8/7 - To celebrate a milestone, we enjoyed an all-too-rare date night, followed by wine and a movie, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 whose viewing, we discovered is enhanced when in a slightly altered state.
8/8 - While it's fine to put your "big rocks" in your schedule first, I've discovered, as a creative, as a writer, a prefer to swim in the floes and eddies of the living waters of life that flow around the rocks, pebbles and sand to serve as fodder for everything interesting.
8/9 - the path around a large obstacle in a huge opportunity suddenly presented itself and without hesitation we walked that path.
8/11 - I sat on our patio, watching the sky darken when suddenly, a skunk scurried around the corner and we both stopped, stared at each other for just a moment, and made a silent agreement to leave one another alone to the objects of our respective monomaniacal foci…me to the sunset and him to his evening hunt. And with that, he ran off and disappeared under the fence.
8/12 - Your mind controlling you is hellish. You controlling your mind is divine
8/13 - T’Challa, our five month old kitten, like Bella before him, has discovered the magical watering hole of “beardwater.”
8/14 - During the bright sunshine and oppressive Texas mid-afternoon heat, I sat down on the ground and watched fictional worlds develop and dissolve in the dappled light on the stone in front of me as sweat increasingly beaded on my face and forehead until, after about ten minutes, even the tiniest rare but merciful breeze that dared disturb the otherwise solemn silence was experienced as bliss.
8/15 - The day had aged well. Dark lines of shadows crisscrossed the face of its landscape. . .getting deeper and longer. . .letting everyone know that the greying day had enjoyed its time in the sun. There were few regrets as the darkness of night approached to finally put this day to rest. The sun sank lower in the western sky.
8/16 - Letting go of more, releasing what I'm holding on to, swimming in the water of life - these seem to be the only path to truly wake up, and, I've realized, that I can't wake up the world, I can only wake up myself. And that feels like a good thing to realize.
8/17 - After two days of not sleeping, and a day full of little irritations that wore on my already frazzled fuse, I struggled to think of something good today; however, the sun was shining, my family is here, we are all healthy, and as I finally drifted off to sleep tonight I realized, what greater good thing is there really?
8/18 - Wine, Living Room, Coltrane, Wife. I'm sure this is a repeat but that's because it can't be beat.
8/19 - I meditated outside in the early afternoon and started as a human, dimly connected to the divine, but, slowly, as time slowed into discreet packets and the information flow from me to the divine increased, I reached a point that felt as if I was the divine, only dimly connected to a human.
8/20 - I sat in the mid afternoon sun, perfectly still, and a squirrel shimmied down a tree, face first and stopped on the ground near me and splooted, cooling his belly. We both sat in joyful contemplation.
8/21 - Today’s insight: The point of art is to reveal the universal divine through infinite unique filters called humans.
8/22 - Rain!
8/24 - Standing in my backyard, under the silvery fingers radiating forth from the brighter-than-usual pale crescent of the night mistress - our moon, the sprinklers sputtered to life, enveloping the lawn in a fine, low mist, a large toad happily hopped along, relishing in the caress of the water and while I relished the caress of the lunar light.
8/25 - When the water of life comes at you, it's best to go with the flow. When I've attempted to stand firm with my plans against it, I nearly always regret it, but when I go with the flow I rarely do. It's impossible to stand against the tide of the ocean.
8/26 - My sister came into town and, over a refection of southern, family style dishes washed down with wine, we increasingly delved into the wisdom that can be found only when humans break bread together.
8/27 - I'm on a journey to save and revive my world-weary soul through the sacred, spiritual power of creativity. Join me in this quest, and perhaps you can save yours too.
8/28 - I went outside to sit in the afternoon sun for fifteen minutes, and a dark cloud formed and covered the sun, I sat, relishing in the energy in the air, entering that meditative state, and blessed rain began to fall, and it was good.
8/30 - A large project, a piece I have felt compelled to write for several years, finally came together and was finished today. It may or may not ever be published but, for my own soul, it had to be written.
8/31 - A day filled mostly with work, but today, I encountered inspiring people doing inspiring things and that beautiful energy has made this a day worth working.
9/1 - An extremely sick kitten, panicked, not sure he would survive the weekend without care, every vet I called booked for days, until I found a most precious thing - someone who cared. Someone who helped.
9/2 - old friends in town, an evening at home, catching up, laughing, playing games.
9/3 - The first step in true value creation is to completely drop the phrase “value creation” from your vocabulary on your path to mastery.
9/4 - A steak dinner, a nice red wine, my family, and an evening with little on the agenda.
9/5 - Today, while in a crowded waiting room, fire alarms being tested, waiting for over an hour, while people who came after me were seen before me, I clearly saw the desire for fairness, for me to "be somebody", and I burned those desires with a clear gaze of awareness and they simply disappeared and I found peace while I sat quietly and enjoyed the peace that surpasses understanding for 45 minutes.
9/6 - After nearly a week of being sick, and despite being dizzy, my kitten T'Challa came up to me and "flirted" with me, turning his head upside down and showing playfulness, despite the fact he's dizzy and kind of falls over when doing so.
9/7 - Our kitten, T’Challa is a jazz man I’ve discovered. He prefers Coltrane, but smooth jazz works for him too. We put on some jazz and he curls up on his bed near the speaker by the window, and vibes to the music till he falls asleep and dreams of lizards or whatever it is that cats dream of.
9/8 - I’ve realized that a relationship generates music, consisting of light harmonies and darker counterpoints, and my error has been thinking that the goal of a relationship is to stay in the light harmonies when in fact, the goal is to dance well through both pleasant harmony and moodier counterpoint. This includes one’s relationship with themself.
9/9 - Watching you dance with abandon through the living room for no reason at all other than the love of dancing and realizing despite my attempts to live through meditation, despite my attempts to let go, that you have already achieved, that playfulness, that Lila, that I so desperately seek.
9/10 - Entering a meditative state of absolute centeredness and calmness, while the energies of the world swirled around me in bright technicolor flows, not during sitting meditation but while simply going about the daily activities of life.
9/11 - Feeling a bit slow and bedraggled today, but, went outside for 15 minutes and communed with the anole lizards, the hummingbird zooming around us, and the sunlight itself, and absorbed enough of the vital energy to come back recharged and ready to work.
9/12 - Despite a few stumbles, for the most part, I managed to stay centered and calm during an unusually stressful and contentious day. Perhaps meditation is helping. I’m still an asshole, but I’m less of an asshole.
9/13 - Despite being knocked down heavily from some minor surgery, and a constant (but low grade) headache, I managed to find the discipline to work out, which made everything instantly better.
9/14 - Did two webinars today presenting our philosia of creativity and its sacredness, and the feedback regarding our help and authenticity left me humbled and inspired to continue down this path.
9/15 - We are all part of "The Sovereign Artist", which has a double meaning - the surface meaning is that once you tap into your full creativity (and kill your ego, at least while creating) that you are sovereign, you are free. But the second, deeper meaning, is that once you kill your ego, you no longer exist and you realize that you literally are (part of) THE SOVEREIGN ARTIST of all, the Sovereign Artist who's art work is all of creation and destruction.
9/16 - Sitting in the back yard, on the first cool morning since spring, in a meditative trance, the wind creating swirling energies around me, feeling the energy caress my face, so much life surrounding me that even with my eyes close I feel I can "see" the energy flowing, swirling, as all of us, one being, support each other's life force.
9/17 - A Sunday night movie, a bottle of white wine, my wife, our cat, our kitten, and a bowl of popcorn. When you look back on your life, you'll realize the little things were the big things. Better to realize it now.
9/18 - Pay attention. Attention is the price of wisdom.
9/19 - In my eyes, the last light of the day in the western sky morphed into an oil painting…just a few globs of dark orange paint silhouetting the black outline of oak trees with branches akimbo, and just the barest hint of deep blue at the top edge.
9/20 - our jet black Turkish Angora (with only 4 white hair “angel kisses”) jumped onto the bed, sat down next to me, bore a hole straight through to my soul with her luminescent golden eyes, reached out….ever so slowly, and gently….with one paw and tenderly, but forcefully double-tapped my forearm to say “hit me”...which for her means "give me treats."
9/21 - As I walked to the mailbox, passing our neighbor's garage, I caught the faint odor of cigar smoke riding on the slight breeze. Even as a non-smoker, there's something pleasantly nostalgic about the smell a cigar. It seems somehow richer and more civilized than its smaller sibling, a cigarette. This slight whiff on the wind spoke of simpler times, darkly decorated studies, snifters of brandy, intimate conversations, and, for me, served as a perfect herald of the coming autumn.
9/22 - I've been working on a short story, and the muse favored me today with an idea that added a twist that improved the story immeasurably.
9/23 - Today's realization - prayer is not something you say to god, it is something god is constantly "saying" to you. It is a gift and your job in to enter total and complete inner silence to receive it.
9/24 - Sitting on the floor, playing with your cats, and watching their total intensity and awareness with all of your intensity and awareness is more worshipful than a Sunday morning church service.
9/25 - Feeling sluggish, I paused work in the afternoon, and went outside and sat in the sunlight for 20 minutes and, this is going to sound "hippie", I meditated with our big oak tree in the back yard, we communed with one another, we thanked each other, we provided energy to one another on several planes, the first one being CO2 for O2, and you know what? When I finished, I went and gave that big tree a hug and I swear, it hugged me back.
9/26 - While meditating today, I had a strange energy shoot up and down my spine and "out" of the top of my head, this vibration was not-unpleasant and, in fact, was somewhat ecstatic and after a numinous release felt refreshed afterwards.
9/27 - For the first time today, I became as enthralled with the characters and plot in a story I’m writing as much as I usually do with those I’m reading. I can't wait to see what they do next. I don’t know what that means, but it seems like a milestone.
9/28 - After a full morning of work, emerging from my office tired, with a headache, I went outside and sat in the sunlight for a mere 20 minutes and my energy and enthusiasm were completely restored.
9/29 - The oak trees watched over me. Guardians. Silent sentinels. They protected the earth below with shade, accommodating me with a just-big-enough spot of sun in which I sat, having been attracted to it like cat seeks a sunlight spot in an otherwise dark room. I sat, eyes closed, and, despite the high temperature, I felt almost cool, the clouds conspiring with me, covering and uncovering the sun at the perfect rate to provide me with alternating energy and coolness. A faint smell of freshly cut grass danced into the scene on the light breeze, a nostalgic reminder of the summer just ended, but with a coolness that promises autumn with her shorter, yet more memorable days. This transitional time somehow vibrates in the in between, perfectly. I so I give my wooden watchers a silent nod of gratitude.
9/30 - Dancing in the kitchen to Prince’s “Purple Rain”, cradling our kitten, T’Challa, between us while he purred with delight.
10/1 - Clouds congregate. Cool breezes swirl. Atmospheric energizing. Rain tantalizes tantrically.
10/02 - My cats run to use a freshened box of newly poured litter with the excitement of the first skier of the day starting a run on freshly fallen powder.
10/3 - A project we've been working on, with lots of delays and setbacks, for over two years, finally came together today and will be moving to the next phase shortly.
10/4 - After about six weeks of on again, off again work, I finally published my longest (and, I think, most interesting) short story, complete with illustrations, a sci-fi exploration of propaganda and freedom. (https://clintavo.substack.com/p/unity-day)
10/5 - Rain arrives. Denied its embrace for so long. We yearned for life giving water. We all rejoice and drink deeply of life.
10/6 - With wine in hand and jazz playing this evening, my wife and I engaged in deep discourse about the nature of the Force, the Ashla, the Bogun, and the balance of the Bendu. Then we conducted an analysis of the motivations and stellar strategic and tactical mind of Grand Admiral Thrawn and concluded, short of extraordinary help from unexpected allies, that had Thrawn remained in power in the Empire during the time of the Empire's overthrow, the Rebel Alliance would have been crushed.
10/7 - After looking for an expert in a particular website builder we are now using and re-selling, it turns out, not only did we find the perfect person, but he worked for the company that designed the website builder and was the designer that created many of our favorite templates. Synchronicity.
10/8 - A cool autumn eve. The swinging sound of Ella's voice. Over the pumping speakers Louie's horn sings. Together we rejoice.
10/9 - Exercise for the body, reading for the mind, meditation for the soul.
10/10 - An overcast day. October arrived. My mood has turned grey but I kindle the fire inside.
10/11 - Outside my window the birds chirp, the squirrels chitter, so I stand up from my screen and stop playing on Twitter. There's not much on ol’ X but propaganda and strife, so I head outdoors and enjoy the uplifting things of life.
10/12 - In the face of so much death and darkness, a realization: when it seems everyone in the world is destroying, when chaos reigns, when my heart becomes ponderously heavy, I realize that can still create, and enjoy the small wonders of existence.
10/13 - The cat’s in the cradle of my wife’s arm, while they dance to Coltrane and its sublime charm.
1/14 - The moon covers the sun and creates a ring of fire, light rings cover the ground, creation exists to inspire.
10/15 - Dancing wildly and grandly, singing loudly as if on stage, “performing” Bohemian Rhapsody with our friends on their back patio at 2am in the morning.
10/16 - The most beautiful day in existence and I stood in the back yard in front of Lily's esperanza plant as time stood still. I communed with the esperanza flowers, the yellow color exploding from them, sending photonic delight through my pupils, through my retina, deep into my brain and, eventually, my soul. The bees buzzed around the flowers, drinking deeply getting their nourishment, even as I did the same. Such a tiny eternal moment. The current of the river of existence is an eternal mystery of bliss that is there for us to dip into at all times.
10/17 - We took T'Challa back to the vet to see if he had grown big enough for the two surgeries he needed to remove the polyp in his inner ear (that affected his balance) and his nasopharyngeal passage (that affected his breathing).
The vet did a CT scan and called me, in shock. The polyp in his ear is almost completely gone, and the one in his airway has shrunk by half.
The vet said, "I've never seen this before in decades of treating cats. These polyps just don't go away. But his have. I don't think he needs the surgery anymore."
I thank everyone for their prayers.
10/18 - We are suddenly steeped in the gestalt of October, that liminal period between summer and autumn, some days speak of thanksgiving, football, and hot cocoa, and others harken back to cicadas, swimming pools, and dog days. A lovely time of nostalgia and anticipation.
10/19 - A morning full of meetings left me lethargic, so I went out into the autumn sunshine to soak up the light of ol' sol for a few minutes when I heard a rustling from the windows behind me to see our kitten and our cat, struggling to see around the blinds, reaching out for me, and crying, wanting to join me.
10/20 - We had just returned from a Gatsby-themed charity event. After ditching our 20's style clothing for our preferred hanging-around-the-house sweats and t-shirts, we poured two glasses of wine and sat down on the living room floor, the cats rushed to play/snuggle/sit-on-our-laps and I looked at my wife and was overcome with the thought that she excites me today as much as when we first dated over 30 years ago.
10/21 - Hanging out with neighbors at our neighborhood fall festival, listening to the band with the doing Michael Jackson songs in the style of Stevie Ray Vaughn.
10/22 - A breakthrough in meditating - once a certain level of physical sensation is reached, for me around the top of my head, I suddenly realized it's better to shift awareness away from the breath to, instead, "amplifying" that sensation, I did that for the first time today and entered an explosive, ecstatic dimension of colorful joy and happiness that left the physical world behind.
10/23 - I used to feel guilty when I spent a half or whole day just indulging my curiosity. Now I feel guilty if too many days pass when I don't.
10/24 - A dreary day filled intermittent, ponderous rain, the kind with the swollen drops that land boisterously on the stone or concrete outside one's window, creating, temporarily, a soothing, tinkling water feature consoling your soul for the lack of sunshine. This white noise of nature engenders a reflective attitude. It's the kind of day for thinking. For reading. And for laying down with your kittens and perhaps joining them for a while in their afternoon slumber.
10/25 - Words written, decisions decided, plans polished off. A mundane day, but even a pedestrian day has its ordinary beauty.
10/26 - We search for God, for somewhere to belong, never realizing we’ve been one all along.
10/27 - The dragon of the east awoke and snorted a misty smoke over the landscape, obscuring everything throughout the morning, as he flew overhead, covered by his own smoke, his tears fell as rain until, in the late afternoon, the dragon in the west opened his maw and blew the smoke away and covered the world with light from his blast of defiant fire.
10/28 - A holy day, today, for it is not a work day but one of play. On a work day one strives, for the sake of the world, to be useful and is in turned used by the world. But, like art, a holy day, a play day, exists only when one is useless, then one is not using the world nor being used by it. When one embraces that sort of uselessness, one’s life becomes, like pure art, washed with color, beauty. Music that is all form and no function. Dance that has zero utility and all soul.
10/29 - A sunny afternoon but with the wind shifting as the day progresses, slowly gaining just a wisp of that sort of acerbic bite of winter. Imagine cleaning your face with rubbing alcohol and then stepping into a breeze. This Refreshing and increasing coolness a gift for a land parched and baked in the unrelenting kiln of a south Texas summer in a year of drought. The houses windows finally, gratefully and eagerly open themselves to the fresh air which creates a natural intoxication in the animals, and, indeed the humans, all vibrating in anticipation with a kind of irrational energy that puts a pep in the step of people and the need to zoom uncontrollably in the feet of felines.
10/30 - After more than four months since introducing our kitten to a house ruled previously by a lone cat, we've been through all the stages - anger, hostility, defiance, resignation, and acceptance. We've been stuck at acceptance for a while, but today, I opened the bedroom door and the two felines, cat and kitten, were curled up, together, asleep, each with their head buried in the other's fur. I think, perhaps, we've finally moved to friendship.
10/31 - After a morning that boasted a Halloween-appropriate bone-chilling, clammy, cold, the kind of atmosphere that left one feeling the need to shiver occasionally, an afternoon arrived, frabjous, cheery, harkening almost of spring if one ignored the lingering chill in the breeze, which had softened to more of a fizzy refreshment on one's skin.
Sitting outside in this sensual soda-pop of sensation revived my soul and, as I sat, meditatively, watching the dappled light, through green tree leaves and blue reflections, I felt thankful to my friends of flora and their kaleidoscope of ever-changing energies, which draped around me like a protective cloak of love.
11/1 - Rumi said, “Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” After posting something I'm grateful for daily for over 18 months I can confidently say: Rumi was right.
11/2 - Feeling creatively dry, I went outside into the sublime sunshine and mid-60s weather. I simply decided to sit in the sun and let creative ideas come to me, and sure enough, when the mind is given space, the muse decides to visit. For twenty minutes a whole world of fantasy of the highest Tolkein order delighted my mind, and twenty minutes after that something precious was happening - a story was being written.
11/3 - An afternoon walk, sunshine, wind, a glass of water, the earth beneath my feet. Fire, air, water and earth. The ancient elements. As I walked, immersed in these elements, they combined in my mind in a swirl of creation and the possibilities of a new story expanded greatly. Often, all you need to improve your mood, see a path to your goals, or have better ideas is a walk through the elements.
11/4 - Brisk & breezy, seductively sunny weather combined with early November crispness, one of the few times South Texas experiences "California" weather, and my wife and I took full advantage with a long walk combined with a run.
11/5 - I've likely written something similar before, but one of my favorite things is holding my wife early in the morning just before we wake up, and our new kitten, like Bella before him, just loves to jump between us and snuggle in so that we make a sort of “enchilada” out of T'Challa, the eight month old ebony oriental. We are the tortillas and he is the filling. He purrs and licks the tips of our fingers until he finally falls asleep.
11/6 - The shorter days of November have arrived and sunlight, essential for my mood, is at a premium. On the fewer days that the winter clouds burn off, such as today, the mid-afternoon photonic ambrosia outside my window beckons me seductively, the fingers of sunlight whispering, "come play." So I do.
11/7 - Demons, demons everywhere! They're over here! They’re over there! I try to hide, I try to run. They chase me till the day is done! But today's a win despite the grind, for demons live only in my mind. A good night's sleep and the fire bright will burn them up by tomorrow's light!
11/8 - Some days, circumstances conspire and you have not a moment to do anything creative, or anything you wanted to do, but still, at the end of such days, you force yourself to work out, and walk out into the cool night afterward, and you feel alive and content that at least you took care of your body and are ready for tomorrow.
11/9 - After five months of travel, working remotely, personal tragedies, and vacations, our engineering team was back in the office today and I am again reminded of how blessed we are to have such talented, professional, and kind people working at BoldBrush.
11/10 - Jazz playing, my wife laying on the living room floor, holding T’challa our eight month old kitten in her arms, him asleep
11/11 - Today was calm, and I experienced good health today, and there is little more to be grateful for in this world than those two sublime gifts.
11/12 - I love that my cats get excited when I walk into the room and start sharpening their claws like they're about to open a can of whoop ass on me.
11/13 - God is light, we are unique prisms. The light gives the prism life. When the prism is gone, when we die, the pure infinite light that is our true ultimate reality, continues, uninterrupted.
11/14 - When I was younger, my wife always told me I could always just choose to be happy. I didn’t believe her. But, after meditating the past few years, one of my insights is that she was correct.
11/15 - I sat in the back yard meditating, and the area orange stray cat, Morris, sauntered up, enjoying the cool day and the bright sunshine along with me, he sat next to me, recognizing a fellow compatriot in meditative joy, and served as my companion and silent sentinel.
11/16 - Not a great day, but, a stray cat that adopted us was on our back patio late in the evening, I sat with him, and he curled up against me purred, kneaded my leg, and licked my hand as I pet him. We both needed comforting and found it in this unlikely moment.
11/17 - A personal day, full a task we've been procrastinating, finally finished and entered the weekend with a sense of accomplishment.
11/18 - Despite an early flight tomorrow morning, we finished our packing early and spent the evening in the comfort of Coltrane jazz, red wine, good books, and kittens curled up next to us.
11/19 - Remembering Danny, our brother, and the coolest person I ever knew who passed five months ago. A celebration of his life with live music by his ex-bandmates, playing songs he wrote, sharing memories, feeling the energy of his music and a reminder that though we physically leave this world, the vibrations that our energy creates continue to reverberate through space and time and that some small energetic part of us remains through the things we create and the people we touch.
11/20 - A smile from a kid is a gift from God.
11/21 - T'Challa, my kitten, jumping on my lap, deciding to "help" me with my work, pressing keys on my keyboard (which brought up a useful screen I don't know how to get back to), then curling up, purring and putting his paws on my arm while I work at the computer.
11/22 - There are only two things. non existence and existence. zero and one. Female and Male. Even our symbols for zero and one point to female and male: 0 and 1. The interplay and dance of these two forces continually destroys and creates everything. Even our computers work this way.
11/23 - Thankful
11/24 - Realization: The disparity between science and spirituality is another duality, an error made by both sides due to a materialist western viewpoint. As we, collectively, evolve and embrace an energetic, consciousness-driven viewpoint, we will see that science and religion are actually in sync, talking about the same reality in similar terms. In science, one starts with the material world and objectively goes deeper and deeper until finding the one consciousness. In spirituality, one goes subjectively inside themselves deeper and deeper until one finds the one consciousness. The split is an illusion. "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality." -- Dr. Carl Sagan
11/25 - Old friends moved back to town, an evening of good music, great food, fine wine and games.
11/26 - A perfect sunny, cool day to open the windows and let the cats become enthralled with the world beyond the window screens. Watching acorns fall from the oak trees proved to be the main attraction for hours.
11/27 - Our neighbors, who hail from Alaska (and just returned from a trip to visit family still in AK) invited us over for freshly caught grilled salmon and halibut. It pays to have neighbors from Alaska.
11/28 - T'Challa, my eight month old kitten, had his third CT scan in three months and his two growths (that the vet originally thought would required surgery based on the first CT scan) have completely vanished! Our vet has never once in 35 years of exclusively treating cats seen growths like this shrink and then vanish. He asked if he could do one more CT scan in six weeks to document the case as he plans on writing a paper about T'Challa for a veterinary medical journal. His exact words to me were "this does doesn't happen, but in T'Challa's case, it did."
11/29 - I dropped T'Challa (my kitten) off at the vet for a CT Scan and I met a lady who complimented me on T'Challa's cuteness and then she added, "aren't our cats great? There's nothing I'd rather do with a day than stay home with my cats." Wise woman.
11/30 - Art is how humans send inspiration and energy to each other across space and time. Looking at beautiful things is one way we receive that energy, which enters us, dances with the divine and reemerges in our own creations which in turn start the cycle over. It is a major reason humans create. And I'm blessed to make my living being around beautiful art.
12/1 - The reason something "resonates" with you is because everything is a vibration, including you. Yes this sounds hippie-ish, but it's also the basis of the most accurate scientific theory we have: quantum field theory.
12/2 - Cats think the most important currency in the universe is attention. Cats are correct.
12/3 - When I think of the trillions of cells that make up the human body — our organs, muscles, bone, etc —, and the myriad of ways that something can go wrong, along with the short time our bodies last even in the best of circumstances, I am thankful for every moment that it all works properly.
12/4 - If God can hear our thoughts, then God must live inside our minds, except, that can't be right, so, instead, that must mean that we live inside the mind of God, and that, indeed, the universe itself is the mind of God. Perhaps prayer isn’t God hearing our thoughts, but our hearing His.
12/5 - Morris, the friendly tabby blond-haired outdoor cat sat on the patio sofa with me as we both meditated, I letting go of distractions until I entered that sublime stillness that somehow flows and him entering a jhana-like absorption watching the birds flit across the trees.
12/6 - Another gorgeous day, the rarer than a diamond (in Texas) kind where you throw the windows open, and you let the fresh air draft through the house bringing energy, happiness and the sounds and scents on the wind that keep the cats rapt for hours.
12/7 - Morris, the stray cat who lives outside, sitting next to me and "holding my hand" with his paw the entire thirty minutes I meditated.
12/9 - a day of hustle, of bustle, working together to get everything that needed doing done. And done we did.
12/10 - a day of travel when so many things can go awry but, thankfully, didn’t. We had dinner in south Florida, the hub of youth and beauty and as young beautiful woman came and went in Moxie, the restaurant. I reflected that none were as beautiful as you.
12/16 - Saturday evening sunset on a catamaran off the coast of Antigua is a sight to behold.
12/17 - hiking around cater lake in Dominica with you, breathtaking sites, beautiful flora, and thankful we are healthy enough to do it.
12/17 - Off the coast if Dominica, sunset, the green flash.
12/18 - hiking through the rainforest in Martinque, with our guide, teaching us about plants and local history. Blessedly cool and clear. We learned about Martinque rum and its uniqueness.
12/19 - dancing with you, it had been far to long, but tonight, we danced.
12/25 - Amorous evening activities
12/26 - on our balcony, sailing out of St. Anna bay, Willemstad, curacao through the open pontoon bridge, after dark, while a boxing day celebration in the streets was underway.
12/27 - Watching an Arubian sunset through two low clouds filtered through distant light rain in the distance.
12/28 - our cats, T’Challa and Bella, finally cuddling in a snuggly ball, best friends, on a regular basis.
What an interesting use of Substack - 'Gratitude in public'
I took some time off from “responsibility” and am reading and spending time outdoors - came upon this journal. Glad I did.