I Never Even Called Me By My Name

Reflection #72: How I discovered reflections of the Sovereign Artist Within

Although the song is usually interpreted as something of a joke, David Allen Coe’s song, You Never Even Called Me By My Name, opens with a deep longing of the human heart:

It was all, I could do, to keep from crying.
Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name.

Further in the song, Coe laments that he won’t truly hear his name, he won’t truly be seen, until he’s with Christ on “judgement day:”

But the only time I know
I'll hear "David Allan Coe"
Is when Jesus has
his final judgment day

This song is usually played, in Texas, at least, as the last call song of the night in local dance halls and honkeytonks.

I think Coe meant the song as a lament that the country music industry, his darling, had denied him the recognition afforded to his peers, but, Art, she moves in mysterious ways. She doesn’t always reveal her deepest truths to the creator but often to the perceiver instead. She reveals different personal truths penetrating to different depths in each of us. In that way, Art is universal. She only reveals want she wants you to see.

The poesis of Art is the closest thing we have, today, to the true mythic power of the Adamic language of creation — a power, granted by the Divine — to truly create with words. Today’s Art and poetry are a reflective echo of that original power.

In the song, Coe longs to be seen for his true self. But people only see the names they wish to force upon him. He’s been called Waylon Jennings, he’s been called Charlie Pride, and he’s been called Merle Haggard. He’s seen only as “Country singer.” Is there anyone in this world who can see his true and unique soul? Why won’t anyone call him by his (true) name? Why can’t he been seen?

We all share this heart-felt yearning, this deep longing, to be called by our name, our true name. We share a longing to be seen.

I learned from Eugene Terekhin’s excellent Substack, Philosophy of Language, the power of our true names. He wrote:

“A name is not just a sound; it’s a word of power — for better or for worse. It’s a powerful spell cast over us…”

— Eugene Terekhin, Philosophy of Language

We each accept many names and, those that we allow to define us, cast a forceful spell over us. But deep down, we each have a true name that has the power to dispel the force of our false names and imbue us with true, gentle, and generative power. Force is shallow and violent, but true power is gentle and deep. Anger is force. Love is power. And it is Love and Wonder that point us to who we truly are.

In The Hobbit, when Smaug asked Bilbo Baggins who he was, Bilbo replied:

“I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number. I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me. I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider.”

Our true names quietly call to us over the course of our lives. They imbue us with wonder, that miraculous power that creates, in each of us, a longing for an adventure that we can never quite define.

Even when we have everything we think we want, wonder calls us toward the Divine. There is a longing within that can never quite be satisfied, though our greatest joy and meaning is found in the attempt.

Luke Skywalker felt the call of his true name as he looked to the horizon and felt the weight of his destiny. Obi Wan invited Luke to travel far from home while the older Jedi taught him ways of The Force; however, Luke’s false names, given to him by his family and his society pulled him back and made him hesitate. He was torn between belonging and longing.

We each walk our own journey to discover our true name and, through its power, settle into our soul’s true home; for true names grant us true power.

In the biblical creation myth, God asked Adam to name the animals. Adam, still unfallen and still unified with the Divine, spoke the pre-babel Adamic language that contained the true power of creation.

Eden is a metaphor for a spiritual garden. The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. In the spiritual non-material garden, Adam wasn’t naming the dog “fido”, and the cat “fluffy.” Nor was he randomly saying “Hey God, that’s a cat,” “that’s a duck”, “that’s a cow.”

Adam, being in spiritual harmony with the divine power of God, looked into the spiritual essence of each animal and saw each animal’s True Name of power. By naming each one, he pulled their essence into the material world, giving each one life. God had inspired – breathed the breath of life – into Adam, and that empowered Adam, in turn, to bestow the breath of life upon the animals in the name of God. He was co-creating with God, something we are still called to do today.

There is a curious line in the myth of Babel. The people say, “let us make a name for ourselves.” And I don’t think they meant, “let’s become renown worldwide.” They weren’t aiming to become the ancient world’s version of Taylor Swift.

It sounds to me that they were attempting, through technology, and through the power of the Adamic language, to create a name of power for themselves without the approval of the Divine. They were using force to create a “true” name outside of the unity of God. But, without remaining in such divine unity, all attempts at creation are doomed to simply pervert and corrupt true creativity.

In Tolkien’s world there is a similar story: Melkor (Sauron’s predecessor — an ‘angel’ who rebelled) became envious of Illuvatar’s (God’s) power of creation and so, in imitation, he, “created” the orcs. But Melkor’s orcs weren’t true creations. Since Melkor didn’t truly contain Illuvatar’s Light, his creations were actually elves whom he perverted into twisted creatures. We sometimes see the same perversion in “art” created from the false ego today.

Creating without God can never create True Life. It can only ‘create’ a poor imitation of life – un-deadness. Creating without God can’t create light, only un-darkness. Only with the blessing of the true divine power can the authentic breath of life be bestowed. Only The Divine Mystery may truly in-spire us.

The people of Babel attempted to create a name of power for themselves, without God, and they were scattered for it. The Adamic language was lost to a multitude of weaker languages lacking in true creative power.

Modern society, with its worship of the magic of the machine, and with its mind of metal and wheels¹ has succeeded in creating, like Melkor, perverted armies of orcs.

You can’t dictate your true name through the violence of egoistic force. You can only find it through the gentle power of harmony; through a reflective process of discovery.

Steve Jobs once said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them by looking backward.”

I see that truth in my own quest for my true name. And looking back, I find that the times that I’ve followed wonder, the times that I’ve felt contentment, and the times when life has felt right are the times that involve creation of some type. Whether creating harmony in a relationship or writing a novel, such times stem from the divine creative act of gentle power, not violent force. So I’ve been saying that my true name is something like “one who creates.”

But I’ve realized that, in writing my first book, which has really, in a way, been my ‘rite of initiation’ into true mature manhood – a soul quest to find my way along the pathless path that leads one home – I stumbled upon one of my true names. A name in which spirituality, creativity and a longing for freedom are inexorably intertwined. And that name is The Sovereign Artist.

I think, deep down, The Sovereign Artist is contained within every human’s true name, though, since we each have more than one true name, how The Sovereign Artist manifests in each one of us is unique.

We are each a precious prism that splits the pure light of God into different frequencies and colors. But, think about it, deep down we all want sovereignty, freedom, over our own lives, and we all desire to express our unique creativity in some form or fashion. Even those who want security above all, actually want freedom from violent force, which is freedom to live without fear.

If nothing else, we all want the freedom and power to create our own lives as we see fit. And, once we discover The Sovereign Artist within, and accept the divine power who we truly are, we gain access to that power, internally, to be eternally free and creative.

We each contain an inner reflection of the Adamic language that grants us the power to name ourselves spiritually inside, through the true non-verbal internal language which, in the inner world, still contains the true power to create. And, in each moment, this power awaits you so that it may open the the door to the creative Kingdom of Heaven within. Simply knock and the door will be opened.

We have, through The Sovereign Artist Within, been granted the gift of creativity, intuition, and imagination where we still have the power to breath life into animals and worlds – those worlds that we create in our minds and breath to life with our Art. Everyone, as all children know, is completely free in the nation of imagining.

Like the people of Babel, we can not make a name for ourselves. Instead, we must follow Luke Skywalker’s path. We must answer the call to undertake the hero’s journey where we discover the truth of who we have always been. After many trials and tribulations along his path of discovery, here is what Luke said the moment he finally accepted his true name:

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.
I’ll never turn to the dark side. Never.”

— Luke Skywalker, Return of the Jedi

When I started this Substack, I was lost, and the name Clinsights (a portmanteau of “Clint” and “Insights”) was the best placeholder I could think of; for insights were what I sought. And, after nearly four years of meditating, writing, reflecting, playing and following wonder, I’ve found some of those insights. And finally, I’ve found my true name, which I will share in Bilbo Baggins fashion:

I am a reflection of The Sovereign Artist, which in some mysterious way, also means that I am The Sovereign Artist, the insight seeker, the one who creates. I was chosen for my uniqueness, as we all are. I am he who delves deep inside, and comes back up with the promised living water. I came from the world of machines, but machines have no true power over me. I am friend of cats and guest of nature. I am lover of my beloved wife and we continually build and rebuild our ship of relation which sails upon our sea of creativity. I often stumble, build towers of Babel, and chase false names; but when I allow the spiritual waters to calm, I turn away, tear falseness down and remember who I am. I allow my heart, once again, to accept the divine wound and break open, allowing beauty to re-energize my soul. I am The Sovereign Artist. He who will always return home through the journey of seeking wonder and chasing the light.

So as of today, this Substack site and its newsletter are no longer called Clinsights and will, henceforth, be called, The Sovereign Artist.

My writing might not be well known, but that’s okay, I never minded standing in the rain. I’ll continue to explore the same sorts of topics as the last several years and I’ll hang around as long as you will let me.

Creatively yours,

Clintavo
The Sovereign Artist

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Mandala, oil painting by Alex Callaway. Image Credit. Prints available here.

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Posts Referenced in this Reflection:

What Do You Call Yourself? The Story Hidden in Your Name by Eugene Terekhin

The Call of Wonder

The Mystery

Goblins

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Everything written in this post (and all my posts) is written 100% by me, Clintavo, a flesh and blood human seeking to grow my soul and come home my truest self; for that is the essence of creativity. I do not use AI to assist me with writing — that would deny me the very growth of my world through writing that I seek.

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This reflection explores themes addressed in my forthcoming book, The Sovereign Artist.

Inside of each of us lies a divine force - The Sovereign Artist Within - a remarkable force which brings joy, peace, creativity and love back into our lives. This approach to the creative process saved me, and it can save you too, perhaps it can save us all. Connecting with The Sovereign Artist manifests as an explosion of creativity, peace, and quiet inner joy. It transforms the artist into a reflection of itself - sovereign, free, joyful and loving. If that is of interest, please click the button below to join the book’s waitlist.

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Footnotes

1. Treebeard, the Ent, said, in Lord of the Rings, of Saruman’s corruption, “He has a Mind of Metal and Wheels; and He Does Not Care For Growing Things.”