Reflection #17

The unthinkable has happened

We must always beware to protect the goodness of life. I say the words because they are what I am supposed to say, though, more often than not, I am guilty of forgetting my own advice. Life, in this exact moment, is precious and good, and its beauty, even if just in the tiniest of things, is there for our enjoyment. If only I could truly see that.

Bad news, devastating news, soul-wrenching news often enters our life like a dark, smoky dementor, and when that happens, and we can distract ourselves no more, the specter goes to work attempting to suck out our happiness, light and joy and injecting, like a virus, negative, depressing, rage-filled thoughts into our psyche.

I have received such news, and, no, the world is not fair, or at least, from our human perspective, it doesn’t seem fair. As they saying goes, nobody promised us that it would be, but nevertheless, it feels like it should be.

Still, once you allow the rage to take over, the world will be dark, brooding and smell of sulfur. And though you look this way and that for the source of the infernal vapor, you won't find the real reason the world turned into hell until you look inside yourself.
These are normal reactions and the news I received today has caused me to react this way. I felt the shift as surely as one feels a tap on the shoulder. The dementor simply reached out his boney fingers with glee, and tapped a tiny stone in my mind, and control was lost as that stone started a landslide of boulders that buried the present under a pile of rubble.

There is a peace beyond understanding, meaning a peace beyond these thoughts exists. And that place beyond these boulders, if one can transcend mere thoughts, is the place one must strive to abide within…especially in trying times. I am not suggesting one to bury one’s head in distraction to avoid the truth! For we are forced to meet the world is it is, rather than how we wish it to be. To abide in this truth, in the present, and to realize that if we can see the whole truth, that peace is still there, is the only path to a life that is still worthwhile. We must not allow ourselves to be extinguished into a false shadow of our divine selves! For to do so turns us into the very dementor that started the avalanche to begin with. While I am saddened by the truth I learned today, and I will do what I can to make the situation better, I must not, we all must not, lose those things that exist right now, that make life worth living.

So, on a day such as today, which, as it shakes off the slumber of a cold autumn night, is dawning cool, crisp and clear, I would hope my thoughts would also contain such crisp clarity. But, full of bad news and dread, my thoughts have been dark and murky, swirling and confused, a swamp of worry and yes, even dread. It is difficult to get bad news about a loved one, and especially so when the news is of deadly disease and a difficult, painful treatment. Such is the way of the world, and dwelling in these muddy mental waters will help nobody, especially not me, nor the people who need my mind to be clear. So I will attempt to absorb the sunshine, the clarity, the crispness from nature and do what needs to be done.

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