The Neighborhood Necromancer
Fiction: A fun little flash fiction for Halloween
“Hi! I’m your neighbor across the street. I see you just moved in?”
Mortimer stopped sweeping his front porch and looked up. A young blond woman wearing a yellow sundress smiled sweetly and held out a basket overflowing with wine and cheese, topped with a little card that read, “Welcome to the Neighborhood!”
Mort extended his hand, “Uhh, Hi, I’m Mortimer, but please, call me Mort! Thank you so much. That’s very kind of you.”
Mort had just moved into this house, his dream house in the suburbs, and this time, he was determined to make things work. He had fled his previous town in a rush due to the…unpleasant incident. Of course, as always, people had misunderstood him, he really did want to be an upstanding, productive member of society. People were just afraid of the unknown. Mort forgave them for their ignorance.
“Hi Mort. I’m Ashley.” She handed him the basket and, with her hands now free, pointed across the street and said, “That’s my husband, Kent, working in the lawn. Say hi, Kent!”
Kent, an All-American young man, looked up, flashed a bright smile and waved. Mort swore he saw a glint of light sparkle off Kent’s teeth. Barbie and Ken.
“Uh, Hi! I’m Mort!” Mort waved back.
Wow, Mort, like, really liked his new neighbors and his new neighborhood. They were so friendly! Mort had never fit in well. He was a bit of a loner. An outcast. But he resolved himself to work harder this time. He had always been misunderstood. Mort sighed. It sure wasn’t easy to be a necromancer in the 2020s. Half of society didn’t believe in dark magic, and the half that did assumed it was evil.
Just because he raised the dead for power and money didn’t make him a bad person, did it? It’s not like he hurt anyone living (anymore), and the dead he raised, they sure didn’t need their bodies anymore. Think of all the dangerous jobs his undead minions could take over, freeing the living to be retrained for safer positions! Mort’s plan for the undead, once enacted, would usher in the biggest productivity gains since the PC revolution. No, he wasn’t evil. In Mort’s opinion, those jokers in Washington DC were the truly evil ones. Mort, like everyone else, just wanted to make a living utilizing the skills he had been born with (over 500 years ago), without government interference.
“Mort?” Ashley said, pulling him out of his reverie and back to the present.
“Yes. Ahem. Thank you so much, Ashley. This basket will sure come in handy, I haven’t had time to procure groceries yet.” Mort said.
“Well Mort, if you need anything at all, a stick of butter, a cup of milk, that’s what neighbors are for! Just pop over and ask. You’re welcome anytime.” Ashley practically vibrated with energy. She flashed him a smile as bright as Kent’s and said, “See you later!” She turned to walk back across the street.
Then, abruptly, she spun on her heel, “Oh, one more thing, Mort, Halloween is coming up next week, and we host a huge costume party every year. You’re invited of course! And don’t forget to wear a costume! The whole street decorates! In this neighborhood, most of us do more decoration for Halloween than we do Christmas. I hope you don’t think that’s weird. I sure hope you’ll participate! We give out prizes for the best costumes and decorations and everything! The scarier, the better in this neighborhood!”
“Can we count on you?” Ashley pleaded with her hands together in mock prayer.
Mort’s smile grew wide. Now, this was right up his alley. Yes, he had finally found the right neighborhood for him. He would win the house decorating contest and he and a few recently raised “friends” would definitely have the best costumes at the party.
He grinned wider, and as his necromancer magic anticipated the upcoming dead-raising rituals, his eyes gleamed red, though Ashley didn’t notice in the bright sunlight. And, for a few seconds, the air around them both grew unseasonably cold and he saw Ashley shiver as he answered, “No Ashley, I don’t think decorating for Halloween is weird at all. I’ve always preferred Halloween to Christmas. And yes…of course, Ashley…I assure you, that you most definitely, can count on me. As you said, the scarier the better, right?”
!!! When's the next part coming out?
I need a 2nd chapter! I read the title wrong and thought "oh thank god, clint wrote a necrophilia story too - now i won't be the only weirdo in the club!" Alas. But it was a tight little telling!