22 Comments
Sep 22, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Hi Clint... me again. I saw 3 posts from “overwhelmed” artists on my Facebook timeline this morning. They were describing how they intend to slow down and savor just a few important things in their lives. Many of those who commented on the posts are feeling the same way, and so am I. Just this morning, I was ordering what I need to do to get back to the person who was creative; not feeling frantic to visit every feed I’ve signed up for (which is way to many). Fifteen years ago, my life was simpler and yet, I was way more productive in the important things. Somehow I’ve gotten to the point where I feel chronically out of control and angry.

sure I’ve got some stresses in my life that can’t be avoided but at least I didn’t bring them on myself. They’re just part of life.

I read dozens of posts and look at tons of artwork every day and at the end of the day, I recall very little of it because I’m constantly skimming the surface. Daily, there’s a call to join a new group of read from another writer. I just have to start saying “no” and focus on my artwork first (because that’s become most important) and stop the fear of missing out or worrying about being forgotten. I already have been forgotten in many ways. It’s silly to think I have to maintain every audience and “atta girl” I ever achieved in the past.

Sometimes I think my life is similar to the “Old Woman in a Shoe”, except I have too many projects to feed) that I don’t know what to do. Two or three areas of focus is more than sufficient and perhaps too much as I age. If I’m too busy, my emotional health suffers and then the rest of me is sure to break down.

I’m going to read your post again today and forget about what others are writing and then spend time in the studio and offline. Thanks again Clint.

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Sep 22, 2023Liked by Clintavo

I don’t know if it’s appropriate to cross talk but that was a powerful second, a strong honest by the way. I read what you write and say me too and thanks for the honest life.

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Sep 22, 2023Liked by Clintavo

I’m pretty sure it’s OK with Clint to cross talk. He never minded getting a conversation going in the past. Thank you Kathryn for taking the time to read it through. I appreciate your encouragement.

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I'm not sure what cross talk is, lol.

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I think it means chatting with commenters rather than to the author??? Anyway, that’s how I read it.

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I hear you, Lori! We’ve been watching Stranger Things on Netflix, which is set in the 1980s, and I was telling my husband that it was a much simpler life then in many ways, wasn’t it? These days, though it’s so much easier to connect with people from around the world, the noise and the constant demand on our attention makes it easy to lose sight of our own creative work and to fall into comparison traps, which ultimately are not helpful at all!

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Sep 23, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Yes Shinjini, you’re absolutely right. Some days I feel like I’m a little crazy. I’m in my 60s now and I’m realizing that my brain can’t deal with as much complication as it did a decade ago, which in turn makes me feel more insecure. It’s time for me to slow down and focus on one or two things outside of the responsibilities and relationships of life. One of those things to focus on is getting as good as I can at painting landscapes. I’ve got some opportunities coming up that I want to participate in and do my best. The other is that I belong to a line dancing club where I live and that can be joyful yet challenging. It keeps me balanced.

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Sep 23, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Hi again Shinjini. I re-read your comment when I had a few more minutes. Thank you so much for what you said. “The noise and the constant demand on our attention makes it easy to lose sight of our own creative work...” I think you hit the nail on the head. OK, I’m off to line dance - my pressure release valve!

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Excellent essay. Thank you.

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Sep 21, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Your writing is timely Clint. Am just reading this before sleep. I was irritable today and needed to avoid people since I have a temper. I had no explanation for my mood. The muse must be hungry.

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Sep 21, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Clintavo.you’re waking up hermits .

The ‘Feed ‘is alarming . For a sec .

To me the path which moves me through creative days is the wolf path. Path of,

Light;

Rules,laws,fundamentals to paint or write a bright piece.

Order. Like, Haiku, haiku to me is light ,is good wolf.

Nature

Syllables ,5- 7- 5 ,3 lines lending to

Brilliant movement down the path.

Or in paint ,process of Venetian painting photo realism oooooo how do they do that?

And then Shadow path , Shadow wolf circling stalking moving in and out of negative indirect space towards form , landing on an inner piece a hidden write.

Brilliance expressed within in a veil’s seductive moment.

Immediate pleine aire, cubism, fauvism , ism isms

Caravaggio the balanced wolf .....but oh that human condition creeping from dark diagonals into the sacred spotlight.

And in an almost forgotten sigh,

The forever dark beauty of beautiful Lorca’s poetry

oooooo duende.

Important wolves as you said ,teacher wolves.

To feed is to give each a nod

like a batter nods to a pitcher and back again .the beginning of a ball game .in a nod.

I know it’s you today,and you know it’s me.

don’t wait for me to feed you

Feed on me.

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Sep 21, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Brilliant essay. Subscribed!

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Sep 26, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Clint, Remember you invited me to help you save your soul? Here we go. You are reaching a lot of people here and I don't think you are ready to teach something like this. Remember, all roads to hell are paved with good intentions. The Cherokee parable is not wrong. It is too old to be wrong. Cherokees weren't stupid, they were way wiser and more observant than most Western Culture members of today. I think you are unable to see and understand what it teaches.

To understand this parable, one must understand what it means to "feed the evil wolf." Since the evil wolf represents all the negative traits - anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, and lies - then ignoring it (negative) and suppressing it (negative) turns into self-abuse (negative) and feeds the wolf a rich diet of negative food. What is the meaning of "ignoring?" Pretending something doesn't exist, withholding attention, exile into darkness, and rejection as inadequate? What is "Suppressing?" To forcibly put an end to something, to prohibit the activities of, to keep it from being revealed. This is exactly what evil feeds on. Evil loves darkness where you can't see it, and it loves when you ignore it, so as to have a nonexistent appearance. This is exactly what the evil wolf wants. It wants you to pretend he doesn't exist while he is consuming exactly what he wants and gets bigger and stronger. That is why those who go on suppressing their evil wolf, suddenly blow up, lose tempers, harm others, and show their ugly side. What will starve this evil wolf? Shining a light on it, looking at it in detail, in all its ugliness, not being ashamed of it, and accepting that it is a negative part of you that ought not to be this way, as if it were a deformed and gangrened limb that needs to be healed so as to function in harmony with the whole body, instead of ignoring it and dying as a result. Only in this case, it is your "body, soul, and spirit" that it need to be harmonious with each other and the whole creation. This action alone is the food of the "good wolf" and the right, positive beginning of the end for the evil one. It is right and correct because you are not doing anything evil to the evil wolf, you are not partaking in evil anymore, and this very action shows what you really believe in and whose side you are taking, the side of the Good. The evil wolf retreats and begins to shrink on its own. This is what it means to be "the Meek of the Earth," if you insist on using terms from the Gospels and Jesus's words. Only those who strive towards total harmony with God will inherit the Earth because everyone else self-destructs. A similar concept is expressed in Catholicism through Guardian Angel and Guardian Demon.

You misunderstood the knights as well. Speaking of the broad concept of knights, not specific people, they didn't feed both wolves. The ideal concept of a knight was a man who transcended his dark shadow (the evil wolf), who fought on the side of the Good, and used force only for good, only when necessary and only to defend the defenseless. Thus, his purpose was to keep the harmony or restore the harmony of a society that is attacked by those who let their inner evil wolves control their actions. That kind of knight had no fear of death because he chose the side of the Good, body, soul, and spirit. The fact that his body gets taken now or later in his life doesn't matter to him. What matters is to stay on the side of the Good. Now, that is an ideal knight, how close individual knights get to it or how the ideal gets perverted is another conversation.

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I will add, thank you for your reply. It is, of course, entirely possible that I am wrong about everything (and it is possible for any human to be wrong). Eventually, each person must find their own spiritual path.

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"Save my soul" was a mis-print. A better description would be "revive" my soul. I'm not asking to "save my soul" in the Christian sense of the word, I already follow my understanding of what Christ talks about. What I wrote was for those who also want to revive their souls through the sacred power of creativity, to connect with the source, and live a fulfilled life on this earth, now.

I wasn't asking for others to help me, I'm already helping myself through an increasing connection with the divine, I was inviting others to join in this quest to find their own connections to the divine, specifically through creativity. Most of what you wrote here, perhaps I misunderstand, isn't really in conflict with what I wrote. For example, the knight, you say "the ideal concept of a knight is one who transcended his dark shadow". I specifically also used the word "transcend." I wrote, "You will no longer be divided, but will instead transcend the dual and embrace the non-dual." Does a knight not still contain violence and death, even when fighting for "good"? The knight doesn't leave the violent shadow behind, he incorporates it into his total being. Otherwise, he would no longer fight. To be honest, I don't see any conflict with my post and your comments on it. Perhaps I am dense.

We have evolved from animals, and are evolving toward the spiritual. Our conflict comes from being stuck in the middle and having desires of both. The answer isn't to embrace one or the other but to transcend and incorporate both. That is the way I see it, and to me, that includes the shadow.

It is important to remember these are chronicles of my journey with creativity, I'm not selling this as a course, I'm not holding myself out as some sort of enlightened being, these articles aren't paywalled and sold as my teaching spirituality. They are free. What we charge for is software (which is not connected to this personal blog, though I do sometimes reprint some of these posts, if they are specifically creativity related, in the art specific blogs we run). If they help someone connect, great. If they don't, it is OK to ignore or disagree with them.

Am I wrong in the end result? Are not artists irritable and cranky if interrupted too much? If separated from getting to create their art? I know I am. I know that's what Julia Cameron wrote in The Artist's Way. Are other artists that way? If they are, isn't that their shadow "evil wolf" revealing itself in a destructive way? Or am I wrong and most artists are just fine and happy when life doesn't allow them to create?

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Clint, don't worry, I was not planning to bombard you with Bible quotes and push you to repent and be saved. Who do think I am, a radical Baptist? Saving your soul is not my responsibility and I am not qualified anyway. With all due respect, you printed in bold, "I, personally, am on a journey to save and revive my world-weary soul through the sacred, spiritual power of creativity. I hope you will join me." You also said, "I hope those I share my thoughts with will join me in this quest to find and save my soul..." You saving your soul and meanwhile, possibly, us saving our souls and thus possibly saving the world was the premise of your post as a clarification of the earlier promotion of the "Daemonic Creativity." This is too grandiose to be a misprint. If I am to accept your misprint excuse, then I either have to accept that you discredit yourself and everything you wrote in this post because to make the same grand statement twice and when someone takes you seriously, dismiss it as a misprint is very immature or you are gaslighting me hoping I will think it's all my misunderstanding. I trust you did it inadvertently.

Then, you specifically stated that the Cherokee parable was "Wrong" and why. I stated that it wasn't and explained why. You telling me now that what I explained is not in conflict with what you wrote is a logical impossibility. If you accept my explanation of the parable, then your statement that it is wrong has to be retracted. Cherokee people have been around for too long to keep "wrong" parables. Everything wrong gets weeded out with time. Usually it is a cultural and spiritual difference between those who get it and those who don't. Nothing to be ashamed of because it's like speaking different languages.

You wrote:

"“Be the change….you want to see in the world,” Gandhi said.

When we starve the shadow (which we can only do for a while, until we either burn out or explode), it builds up tremendous energy."

Did Gandhi starve his shadow? Did he feed the "evil wolf" (in your understanding of it) and channel it creatively? Did he suppress the violence within himself or did he transcend it settling it for himself once and for all that non-violence is much more powerful? I am sure you would answer that he transcended it. How? Definitely not by feeding the evil wolf.

Perhaps your definition of the "evil wolf" is that it is not really all that evil and it's energy can and should be harvested and channeled creatively, bearing positive results. What is the use of calling him evil and the good wolf good? Isn't it to establish the two completely opposite concepts - Good vs. Evil, like existence is the opposite of non-existence? The point of the parable is that feeding the evil wolf within you is feeding yourself into self-destruction, but feeding the good wolf within you is feeding yourself into living a meaningful and productive life with no regrets. Feeding both is nothing but playing tug-of-war. This is not what you deducted from the parable. You dismissed it as wrong and proceeded to explain how the evil wolf has to be fed and how those who do it will be productive.

I wouldn't say the ideal knight contains violence and death. It is not a short discussion, but to summarize the knight has complete control over his body and mind, as well as the force he possesses. He would rather avoid a fight knowing that is not the right way to solve problems, but he is not afraid of a fight or personal death and will use force justly and only when needed, not emotionally, not abusively, where the others would lose tempers, react emotionally, vindictively and with brute force. You don't get to be that kind of knight by feeding your evil wolf and by accepting your dark side as is. The way I read what you wrote is you advocate incorporating your shadow, your dark side, and your evil wolf and settle for being part good and part evil because that somehow will keep your creativity flowing. I am saying that it is better to work on transcending the evil within you, so to be on a path toward Good and creativity will be granted. Good always creates, and evil always destroys.

Regarding crankiness when separated from creating art, you said, "Isn't that their shadow "evil wolf" revealing itself in a destructive way?" Do you think it is OK? Do you think it is necessary? Do you think an artist ought to be like that? Who is in control of you and what you do in life? You or the spirit of creativity? That spirit may be mischievous or an evil one, if you get so cranky and unhappy. Art creation is not a drug and you are not an addict who needs his fix. Or so I hope.

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Ok

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Sep 29, 2023·edited Sep 29, 2023Author

I am capable of not being clear as much as anyone. I have already changed that statement to "revive and revitalize my soul" in several places. It may not have been a misprint, but it was a mistake to word it that way because "save my soul" has a very specific context in our culture that I did not think through before posting.

My point on that was to address specific concerns regarding people who were extremely closed minded about the word "Demonic" and assumed, because of their own past teachings, that I was promoting some sort of satanic teaching. I was not and that was an attempt to explain that I think the world is going to shit because people have closed themselves off to the magical, spiritual side of themselves and that creativity is a path to reconnect with that side and that, if there is a resource to help with that (which I believe the Daemonic Creativity course is one such resource for creatives) we should remain open minded about it and not dismiss it due to a knee-jerk reaction because of a word in the title. (I am sure the person who brought up the satanic angle did not read it but only looked at the title).

I am not gaslighting you, and I disagree with you that it is immature to refine and clarify one's position -- even to the point of changing one's position as one learns more and matures. I can't help that you seem to take it that way.

If you think the parable is right, that is fine with me. I'm not the arbiter of truth. I understand the point of the parable. I have a different take on it. That is OK. Everything written here by me is my opinion. I have no problem if you have a different one. We don't have to agree on everything. We can agree to disagree. I would prefer if we disagreed amiably without accusing each other of anything (such as "gaslighting" or being "immature") but it is what it is if you perceive that is what I am doing. Obviously, I can't change your perceptions.

The ghandi comment was about the fact that the world is constantly changing, and my point about being a part of that change, it wasn't specifically about whether ghandi feed an evil or good wolf.

I don't know what to tell you about art creation. It is not a drug, but it is something I'm compelled to do, strongly and I'm hardly the first person to point out the crankiness that artists experience when kept from doing their art. Other much more respected authors than me have said similar things. So no matter how we classify it (as an addiction or whatever), it is a real phenomenon. Perhaps not for everyone, but for some. My drive to create is close to an addiction. It feels like the reason that I am here. Whatever that is called, that is one of my driving truths.

But in a more general sense, there's no point in us going back and forth, point by point. If you disagree, that is completely OK. I'm just some guy posting this stuff on the internet, if you have a different take, that's fine. There are multiple paths and each of us walks a slightly different one. I'm sharing my journey as I see it. If it's not of use to you in any way, that is fine. You seem to know your own way.

I understand what you are saying and it's entirely possible that my article is completely wrong and your responses are completely right. I am exploring the big questions to which nobody has ever answered definitely and each must answer for themselves.

Creatively,

Clint

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Sep 29, 2023·edited Sep 29, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Clint, I love how you are striving to figure things out for yourself and I see what you are doing as a drive to do good. I am all in favor of that. My replies are meant to be in a collegial spirit, not to take you down, but to help you improve, and see what you are made of. You are reaching a lot of people. You shouldn't write statements unless you can defend every word. I also love to hear that defense, it shows how you think and who you are. I am all for disagreeing without accusing, that is why I said that I trust you did it inadvertently. But inadvertently doing wrong, is still doing wrong. Respectfully, but I will point it out. I hope you do the same to me. I wish you success in saving what you are saving. I hope we can meet in person someday.

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Sep 22, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Haha from

12 step meetings ( Midwest not coast) its when you talk to whoever has shared at a table and you try to engage with them about their ....share. Often bad manners . Ha

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Sep 22, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Thank you!

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Sep 20, 2023Liked by Clintavo

Great to read this. Thankyou

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